I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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