And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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