hotel room ftw
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
