he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
sex in a hospital.. check
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
