Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
