I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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