whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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