We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
