in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
