so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
