office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
