Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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