Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
