i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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