my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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