you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
