For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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