I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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