these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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