Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
