Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
