My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
