ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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