Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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