my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
