My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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