Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
