a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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