Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
