alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
