I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
