I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
