If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
