I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
They took my balls.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
