After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
