so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
