I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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