How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize