She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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