One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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