Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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