Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
