Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
