Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
