billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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