Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
