I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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