Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
