Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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