Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize