I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
