Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
