we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
