I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Your cock deserves a montage
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
