when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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