So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
