So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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