Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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