Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
