Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
