so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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